It’s a big topic and there isn’t one answer, because every couple is unique, just as every person is unique. However, there are some guidelines of what might help, and what definitely doesn’t help.

Get Support for Yourself

You may feel betrayed, isolated, or rejected. These are all normal responses, but your partner can’t help you with these feelings right now. You need to seek support outside of your marriage or relationship.

You lift a weight off him by not making him responsible for your happiness. Feeling guilty about your misery is not going to help him focus on the changes he needs to make.

The type of support you need will depend on how your partner’s habit has affected you personally, and your relationship. Surround yourself with friends and family who love you, and maintain healthy activities that make you happy. In addition, you may want to check out these resources: Healing Relationship Trauma

Be a Friend

Prepare yourself to listen to your spouse non-judgmentally with unconditional love. *He’s probably already self-judging enough, so adding to that won’t help. Read up on the recovery program your partner chooses, and check out any spouse related resources.

Learn as much as you can about sexual habits and addictions, as well as recovery. Understanding the recovery process will help you know how to give support.  Focus on giving your partner the time and space he needs to work on his recovery.

“ The most supportive thing one person can do for another is to believe in them and be there for them.

What You Can Do:

  • Practice patience
  • Seek your own support
  • Express gratitude for his honesty in confessing
  • Encourage his efforts to seek help

There’s a lot more to be said on this topic, so be sure to subscribe to our blog to keep learning.

* We recognize that women also struggle with porn addiction and their husbands may be adversely affected as well. This article was specifically written for female partners as they currently still are the majority who are traumatized by their spouses unwanted sexual habits.