How to Create Attraction (it's built, not found) [Ep. #350]

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What if attraction isn't something you simply have or don't have?

In this episode, Andrew takes a deeper look at attraction and how it affects dating, marriage, family, faith, and even the way we relate to ourselves.

We often assume that if we're attracted to someone, that feeling must mean something. Or that if we stop feeling attracted to our spouse, something must be wrong with the relationship.

But attraction is more complicated than that.

Our attention, time, curiosity, investment, and imagination can all influence what becomes attractive to us. And understanding that can change the way we approach crushes, marriage, fantasy, and long-term relationships.

The episode also explores how couples can experience novelty within commitment instead of constantly looking for something new outside the relationship. Sometimes falling in love again means becoming new people together and learning to see the person you've known for years with fresh eyes.

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

  • What attraction actually is

  • Why attraction doesn't always mean you should act

  • How attention fuels attraction

  • Why crushes can become stronger when we keep feeding them

  • The difference between fantasy and reality

  • How attraction can affect marriage

  • Why novelty doesn't require leaving a relationship

  • How couples can keep growing together

  • Why investing in someone can make them more attractive to you

  • What it means to be attracted to your own life

  • How your relationship with yourself affects your relationships

  • Why fulfillment can reduce the need to escape into fantasy

  • How to fall in love with the same person again

  • Why love requires ongoing attention and investment

You don't have to be controlled by every feeling you have. Sometimes the question isn't “Why do I feel this?” but “Where am I putting my attention, and what am I building?”

👉 Married and looking to rebuild deeper connection, trust, and intimacy?
Join Radiant: highnoon.org/join-radiant

👉 Feeling stuck in cycles of urges, porn, or hookup culture and ready to build real discipline and freedom?
Join Ascend: highnoon.org/ascend

👉 Single and wanting to prepare for the kind of marriage and relationship you actually want?
Join Core: highnoon.org/join-core

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3 Signs You've Fallen Into the Resentment Triangle (w/Kendra Stein) [Ep. #32]