#94 - The Importance of Having Friends of the Opposite Sex
We live in a society where friendship between a man and a woman is being misinterpreted. When two opposite genders create a bond or friendship, some people assume that it’s more than that - that it is a sexual or romantic relationship.
But that’s not always the case. Whether you’re a man or woman, there’s nothing wrong with building a friendship with the opposite sex. But since people are afraid of being judged based on their sexual identities, having a friend of the opposite gender was not considered natural, when in fact, our gender has nothing to do with the quality of friendship we can give.
Our personality and values are what matters the most. One can learn so much from having friends of the opposite sex and it helps us in having a healthy and balanced perspective in life in general.
In this episode, Andrew and Benjy talk about the importance of having friends of the opposite sex, and how it affects marriage and parenting. They also discuss how porn destroys the mind and the way a person sees the opposite gender.
If you’re someone who’s finding the right path and wants to step out of the misconceptions and assumptions about having friends with the opposite sex, this episode will guide you on your journey. Listen to Episode 94 for more!
Misconceptions about women
Entering an eternal relationship with a woman
Healthy friendship with the opposite sex
How unique a woman is in the eyes of God
How to see a woman as a potential spouse
Miseducation about the opposite gender
How to see a person’s unique value
Seeing people as your potential spouse
Befriending different types of people
Episode Transcript:
Andrew Love
Welcome back to Love, Life and Legacy, a podcast dedicated to helping you navigate these hypersexualized times. And in today's episode, Benjy and I are unpacking why it is such a great idea to build strong relationships, platonic friendships with people of the opposite sex, and how that is going to be a fantastic long term strategy if you're looking to get married, or if you're looking to have kids, or if you just want to build strong bonds with the other half of the human race. We get into this, and we go in deep. So let's buckle up together and enjoy this episode.
Welcome back, everybody, to another day here. What would you say, Benjy?
Benjy Uyama
Yes. Welcome.
Andrew Love
You're like, it's not going to be welcome in the middle of my welcome. You can't double welcome. Pseudo-welcomes, people will feel too welcome. They'll start taking off their shoes in the middle of the living room. Do you know what I mean?
Benjy Uyama
I retract.
Andrew Love
Unwelcome. So today, we're thinking about a really important topic for single people and blessed people, married people, people in a relationship. And that is learning how to be fluent in conversations with the opposite sex as a single person is really important. And having friends that are not of the same gender as you. That's very important. So we want to get into different angles, and the reason is this. I know too many shy people, especially shy young men, but I know young women too. They're really awkward with the opposite sex. And that's a big problem. You might think it's not a big deal. You figure it out later, not how it happens. And again, there's stuff that 'll impact your marriage, it'll impact how you parent a child of the opposite gender. It is really important that you understand because people think completely differently than you. And unless you mix it up with them, you'll always be stuck with assumptions, and assumptions are pretty much always wrong. So Benjy, let me ask you, did you have a lot of friends that were girls growing up? Or were you pretty isolated in a bubble?
Benjy Uyama
I did have friends, female friends, but not in a close-knit relationship. They're more like my friends/ sisters, that kind of relationship. And of course, I don't have sisters. I have one brother, Sammy.
Andrew Love
Who's like the least feminine human being on planet earth. Not because he's so manly, but just because he's so like a dude.
Benjy Uyama
Yes, so I would say that I didn't have close female friends until maybe teenagehood, like 14, 15, and above. But that was more as a necessity to survive and try to figure out hormones and relationships and potential marriage. So not really growing up so much.
Andrew Love
So would you say that you were all right, or pretty bad with them in terms of talking to them like they're just another person? Or was there always this awkwardness of like, I'm talking to a girl right now?
Benjy Uyama
I think if you ask my wife, she would say something different. Honestly, I would say a steep learning curve to know how to communicate with women. Not so much like the conversation, the actual talking, but more of the understanding or the empathy or compassion, or the heart-to-heart connection that's required in a relationship for talking down the road. So it was definitely a learning curve for me to be in a relationship with my wife. And I very quickly realized, wow, I really don't know how to understand women. I think, first and foremost, understand the chemical and biochemical and actual differences, emotional and hormonal differences between everything that's packed into that between a man and a woman. So when I was in a relationship and married with my wife, years and years, I would say that I'm trying to unlearn a lot of things that I had misconceptions about women for. And then tried to relearn what it means to be a man for my wife.
Andrew Love
Yes. We're just a couple of dudes here. So we're limited to what we can say or think or feel according to society about a woman. But some stuff that women do doesn't even make any sense to guys. And I don't think it ever will. You just have to take it for what it is. The idea of PMS, the idea of your hormones changing so much that you're a different person for a few days. For me, I'm very practical like, well, just meditate and chill out and come back when you're happy. This kind of thing. But I have no context for what it's like to go through that kind of stuff obviously. There's no way that a man could ever assume what it's like to have so many different fluctuating hormones going through your body. As your body's preparing, every month, the woman's body is like, are we having a kid yet? No. Are we having a kid yet? No. Since they're 12yrs old, they have to cope with that. And I just feel like there's no amount of education that could, just like if you were to read a book about love, it doesn't do the experience's justice. Same with so many things that what it's like to be a woman? No idea, no idea. But the closest you can ever get is to actually spend some time with them and ask them, and gauge what you can and cannot say. Going from not knowing so much to going into an eternal relationship with a woman. You said the learning curve was steep, did you just make her angry all the time for the first year of marriage by saying everything wrong?
Well, I think there's an intersection between science and faith. The science, which is actual. Like you're talking about the chemistry, the hormonal biochemistry of what is a man and what is a woman. And actually, what it came down to to me honestly in our relationship was actually studied. I spent a good chunk of our relationship studying about females, like the actual hormonal balance and imbalance that occurs in some, of course, everyone is different, but particularly for my wife. And trying to understand even going to get hormonal tests or blood tests. Not to fix something but to understand. And when I sat down and read what is PMS or what is menstruation? It's something that we understand conceptually, especially us guys, we don't really get it, obviously. But when I understand that her body's hormonally actually changing, that helped me. First of all, have a little bit of compassion and understanding that what a man and what a woman goes through biochemically is drastically different from each other. It's not that one is better or worse or right or wrong, or anything like that. And of course, it's individualized per person. But understanding my wife from that context, I can tell you, it was like night and day when I just read about this stuff. It's like, wow, this is crazy. How incredible a human body is, and what it can do.
All of that information also helps to appreciate them as a complex structure. Especially, given the fact that if you're listening to this podcast, you've somehow stumbled into porn at some point in your life. That reduces the human being into just like a couple of orifices, just a couple of holes. Especially from the male perspective of different places, the pleasure man. That's what a woman turns into. And then when you start studying the complexities of the human body, especially the female human body, and what it goes through every month through menstruation. But then you get into pregnancy and all that stuff. It's unbelievable what they go through. And then ideally, if you allow yourself to have an open mind, open heart, you can appreciate the fact that your mom gave birth to you and how crazy of a process that was. First of all, unlikely that it's going to work out the way it did, which is that you're alive and you're listening to this podcast. You have functioning brains and all that. It's so hard. But without that appreciation, it's very easy to shrivel and shrink a woman from the man's perspective down to just like a caricature of a human. That is just really there to satisfy you. I don't know from the female perspective. I don't know what they assume guys are. We got to get Carina on this podcast. We'll grill her about what she thought guys were like before she got blessed before she got married.
So I just want to say, when I was in high school, all my friends, my closest friends were girls, actually. I had a group of guys that I'd hang out with, we'd go skateboarding and stuff like that. But really, my closest friends were girls. At my house at that time, my parents were divorced. So it was just my mom and my sister, and we had a wiener dog that was a girl. It was me and a bunch of women. And my two best friends in high school were young ladies. I don't know what to call them. And that was really actually helpful somehow because obviously, I didn't grow up with any sense of morality. And I made a ton of mistakes. But somehow having female friends allowed me to be a little bit more decent than I normally would because I had to answer to them. Because if you do anything sketchy as a guy towards the female race, and some of your best friends are females, they'll let you know. Bro, you're out of line. That was weird and sketchy. That's very, very helpful because if you're always surrounded by the same gender, that's only one perspective. The other gender, and really mixing it up and spending time and seeing them just as people are very, very healthy. We're talking about the second realm of heart, brother, sister, the realm of heart. And it's important to have guys that you can hug in your life. You need it. We need physical touch. But also, it's healthy to be able to hug a woman without feeling sexually attracted to them as a man, and vice versa for a woman.
Ideally, if you're a healthy human being, you don't get turned on by hugging your siblings. That's clearly a sign. Even in this weird world that we're living in, even that there's a line like incest. That's weird and gross. But if you think about our world as a human family, it's just that at scale. And of course, our culture does not support that point of view. But as a very healthy way of looking at it, that there's actually just one person in this world that where it makes a lot of sense to be sexually attracted to. And the rest of everybody else is just your uncle and your brothers and sisters.
Yes, so I think one thing that I want to address for our listeners is that Andrew and I are guys. I think it's pretty obvious that we can't claim to know anything about women, or specifically to know exactly what it's like to be a woman. However, we are married. I just want to clarify. We've been married for many years and we have kids. We've been through the experience of supporting our wives through the experience of giving and having children. So anyway, I just wanted to clarify that if that helps our credibility at all in talking about this. If it helps at all, I know it doesn't necessarily, but the reason I think this is important is that we've had experiences where we have seen the benefit of these relationships. We've seen the benefit of how it impacts our lives. But not only us personally, but also the lives of people that we're helping. Specifically, in our line of work, people who are addicted to pornography, people who are preparing for relationships, people who are married, and people who have kids.
Benjy Uyama
And for me, I have a daughter and a son. So I have a boy and a girl. And it became, I think, more than my relationship with my wife. Actually having a little girl helps me understand how incredibly unique a woman is in the eyes of God, in the broad scheme of life and family and society. How important women are, and how unique they are and different they are from boys. People will argue this or that. But from my experience, there's undeniably a sense of love and care that I have for my daughter that I do not have for my son, honestly. It's just night and day, in my experience. For example, when my son, when they were a little younger, when my son would hit his sister, my first reaction is I want to strangle him. I want to dropkick him in the face. And I've done that a few times. He would push us on the edge and kick him in the chest like, don't do that to her. Like really protective. And then on the flip side, when my daughter hits my son, I go, good job. Good for you. That's not intentional. But I just noticed that that's my first reaction when I'm interacting with them when I'm raising them. The way that I empower them is very different.
Andrew Love
So let's get into that because I don't have any girls. So I have three boys, as you know. But every single time that my wife was pregnant, I'm like, yes, this is definitely a girl. I got this intuition. I really got into that. I'm calling it now. Girl, it's 50:50. I was wrong three times. And I don't think that's a mistake. I think I have a lot to learn about what it's like to be a man as an example to guys. But I got to say, one time I was in a car in Las Vegas, you know Makiko, Takira's wife? And they have I think three boys, and the youngest is a daughter. The daughter was in the van with us. She's driving me to an event that I was speaking about. And I started joking around with the girl. She's in the backseat and I was just joking about aliens and like different things. And then I could just stop, the girl was not into my jokes at all. By the way, it's a little girl. Maki was like, you don't know how to talk to girls. What's wrong with you? I'm just like, I've just never had them. All I know is boys. I know boys, you pick them up, you throw them. They love being thrown on a bed. They love wrestling and stuff like that. I don't know anything about what it's like to have a little girl because I never had one.
And so, that's a limitation that I have. I know how to deal with girls from 15 to 99 yrs. old. I guess no, to 102 years old because my grandma is now almost 101. But anything below that, I'm severely limited because I just don't want to be a creeper. I don't have that fatherly heart as much for girls, because I just don't know them as well. But you having a girl, the fact that you have one, what did that inform you about the female race, the female spectrum of the human race? Having a young girl, what does that teach you about women?
Benjy Uyama
Maybe that's a loaded question. I can just speak from experience. When we found out that we were having a daughter. My brother and I are the only boys, and so it's just been boys, boys, boys. And then I assumed that we would have another boy after our son because that's the tradition, Uyama tradition. I remember opening the little slip you get from the doctor that reveals the gender. And then it was a girl, right? I remember that moment. I was with Kogen. Actually, we're taking a walk together with my son. And I just remember crying on the street.
Andrew Love
Walking and sobbing.
Benjy Uyama
I can't believe this is life. I can't believe this is happening. And how do I deserve this kind of life? And that's not just because I had a girl. I think we all have those experiences and things like that to be grateful for. We can't even believe it. To answer your question, it's been a process of learning that, honestly, my limitations and my limitations on my views about women to be frank. I think that a lot of our people in High Noon are dealing with right now that we don't necessarily have the healthiest perspective on the opposite gender, even on our own selves. The way that we view ourselves as individuals, as children of God, impacts the way that we view other people naturally. So it's been a process of just learning that my experience with pornography, my overexposure for years to pornography, for example, has been maybe the bottom pit of my misconception or the miseducation about women are. And then going through that process of overcoming that, and even coming out of that at the very high level of viewing women or the opposite gender is, how do I see this person not as just gender, but as a human being like as a child of God? How can I see this woman as a potential spouse in many cases? And this is the thing that, personally, I work a lot with...
Andrew Love
Just to clarify, it's not your spouse but somebody else's spouse.
Benjy Uyama
Right, yes.
Andrew Love
You're not creating a harem situation. Let's just be clear.
Benjy Uyama
Yes, so the important thing that I want to bring up in this podcast is that I've worked with men and women who are preparing for marriage and to receive the blessing for almost 10 years now. And so, I've talked with hundreds and hundreds of people about this exact point. It's how I get to a point where I'm right now where I'm either drowning or knee-deep in a porn addiction or habit, or I'm out of the habit but I'm not able to see a potential spouse for who they are. I first look at things like how attractive they are, or their body parts, or what nationality they are, what their face looks like, or how much money they make, or what career path they're on, or how tall they are, what age they are. And that's really an honest place for people to get especially when they're preparing for marriage. So on the very bottom level of miseducation about the opposite gender is pornography. It's impossible. It is impossible to look at a woman if you're a man, or a man, if you're a woman, at the opposite gender in a way that's healthy, in a way that you're able to see them as a unique person they are, and as a potential spouse, or just a brother or sister. It's impossible if you're dealing with a porn habit, because the first thing you look at is, naturally, are they attractive? Or are they not? Because that's clearly the line that pornography, not only that, but the Instagram standard or social media has defined is what is attractive, what does not attractive? What is overweight, what is not overweight? And that's the first thing we think about if you're struggling with a porn habit. That even after that, the very high level of looking for a spouse or seeing the opposite gender as a potential spouse, or as a brother or sister or a friend, it becomes how can I see this person, not as the external factors that define them like all the things I mentioned? Their height, or their age, which are surprisingly a very important thing for a lot of people honestly. Or what language do they speak? Or what nationality they are, what color their skin is, or whatever. But if you can see past all that and see them first and foremost, this is a unique individual with unique value. In other words, you can call it a child of God, a son or daughter of God. And if you can see with that lens, then it becomes more clear. You're able to discern if this person is a suitable match, a marriageable person for me to help me grow and expand my love so that we can become a couple and have a family, and etc. So regardless of where you are, I think that's a critical element, or the equation here is, how do I see other people? How do I see other people as not just things or people or whatever, but what is their unique individual value?
Andrew Love
Yes, that's a good exercise that anybody could attempt right now. So whether you're single, let's say, let's start with that. The single folks out there. Do you get good at befriending and being close with people, all varieties of people, not just the people that are easy to get along with, but difficult people too? Because guess what, you're going to be difficult and your spouse is going to be difficult in the future. So if you can't reconcile the tension between yourself and somebody that you don't naturally like, somebody that you think tells corny jokes, somebody that smells weird, somebody that just is mousy, they're introverted. Learn how to befriend all varieties of people, because, in many ways, that's a metaphor for the various characters that you'll experience in marriage. There are barely 12 characters. There are 12-star signs, there are 12 disciples. Twelve is a very common number. Imagine your spouse is having 12 different personalities that you will experience. So to have friends that fit into those different kinds of categories will be very helpful especially in the opposite gender. Bring people close to you. Don't be afraid to be friends. I know that for some people, especially in religious spheres it's like, be careful. And you do. You do have to be careful. What it means to be a friend and how your expectations and their expectations. But that's all part of the dance because the next part is after you are married after you are in a relationship. Guess what, they're still very attractive people in the world after you get married. They still exist. They don't know, just get raptured and disappear. They're there. And you'll have co-workers that are attractive that try to flirt with you. You'll have all sorts of situations. And if you haven't practiced as a single person, it doesn't get easier in marriage. In fact, it gets more complicated because you'll experience times in your marriage when you just want to escape. And if you find so much value and are complemented by attractive people, then it's very likely that you'll seek that. And you have to resolve all that as early as possible. If you are already married, blessed and you are listening to this, it's not too late. But I would really recommend that you find a couple of friends, different friends. But don't be afraid of the opposite sex, but be smart, obviously. Because definitely people sometimes try to seek comfort. In high school, I found so much comfort in people complimenting me. So I do anything that I could humanly possible to be complemented by an attractive woman. And now, it's not an issue. I just want to be desperate for my wife to compliment me. Desire. She's not loose with the compliments.
Benjy Uyama
That's really important because imagine if you happened to have experience of going to Mongolia when you were 15 yrs old in high school.
Andrew Love
Yes. I will lose my mind. Well, to have a really honest conversation, and we're talking hypotheticals but let's say, I went to Mongolia. There are a lot of really attractive women. And as a Western guy, you're this anomaly. So people really give you notice. They pay attention to you because they're like, well, that's new. Not because I'm anything special, trust me, it's because just in that environment, I'm rare. I'm a rare commodity. It's just like when an Australian guy comes to America. All of a sudden, he's way more attractive because he talks like this. He sounds different.
Andrew Love
So now it's there. There are a bunch of women checking me out. And again, not because I'm super or I belong in the Avengers, but just because I was a freak. It was just very unusual. And so, I could see when I was in a difficult spot with my wife, I enjoyed being checked out. And when I was connected to my wife, I didn't really notice. There's this thing inside of you, it's this neediness that you can imagine like a beehive. And it gets activated, it gets kicked when you're fighting with your wife when you have a lack of love in you. And what stimulates that even more is when you get attention, or when people notice you, or when you feel special. And that's a recipe for disaster if you don't know how to cope with that. So again, building a healthy relationship. If I look at these women like men, I hope that they can have an amazing marriage. Instead of, wow, that girl's looking at me. Then it's a completely different vibe than you're giving out, but it's also a completely different experience of life in general. And you can be much more of a help in this world rather than a needy person that goes around taking from other people, which is what most people do. Celebrities, oh, you're hot. I'm hot. But I'm married. Yes, but you're hot. Let's make love, baby. And then they just perpetually divorce because they're so neat.
Benjy Uyama
Yes, I think one thing that might be helpful for people is, I think a lot of people are perhaps understandably afraid to build a healthy relationship with someone of the opposite gender especially if they're not within a faith-based or religious or understanding because it seems like a slippery slope. And to that, I did or I tried to find people that are even related to you, honestly. For example, what would have benefited me a lot in my preparation for marriage to be married to a Japanese person from Northern Japan who does not like all the things that I misunderstood that women like holding hands and complimenting and saying, wow, you're so amazing. How's your day? Come give me a hug. All that stuff that I thought that women all like, she's the total opposite of that and she actually prefers other things. So that was a big shocker. But what would have prepared me for this situation was if I went to Japan. I am Japanese by chance. My dad's Japanese. So I could have gone to Japan for a summer or a year or something and spent a lot of time with my cousins or with people, church members who go to the CARP House in Tokyo, Chiba, and just hang out around there. I would have been tremendously helpful, then I would realize, wow, there are other people outside of my bubble of understanding of what people are like. There are women that are like this, or there are men that are like this. And it's not that everything is as I thought. So that might be helpful. Go outside, go to your parents’ country of origin and just hang around for a month or a few months when you have some time.
Andrew Love
Yes, having people having friends from all over the world definitely helps. It gives you context, especially if you're going to end up with somebody who's not from your own culture. It's really important, like, how do you joke with other people? What's appropriate and what's not? You can shave off years of pain in your marriage if you learned that as a single person. I think I'm proficient in American jokes. But when I'm with Europeans, they're like, don't touch me. I slapped them on the shoulder and was like, hey, man, what's up? Don't touch me.
Again, if you're single, it's really good to have friends of the opposite sex. Learning to navigate that. Be smart. Don't put yourself in dangerous situations. And obviously, if there's an attraction developing, realize that. And understand how to navigate that, and learn how to talk to your parents about it, or learn how to talk to your friends about it so that you don't end up making regrettable choices. But again, that doesn't go away when you're married. If you are married, if you're blessed, also make sure that you always have friends that are on the opposite end of the spectrum. People who are different from you, especially people of the opposite sex that'll help you understand your spouse more. Because a lot of the time you're like, oh, my wife is like this. Maybe a lot of women are just like this, and I don't understand women. Sometimes it's very unique to my wife. My wife, I would say, is not like the average woman in many, many respects. But there are some things that I assume about her that it's her character, and it's actually because of the fact that she's just not a man like me.
So really good research. It'll help you out in the long run. You'll be able to not be awkward when you're in a job interview or when you're in the workplace in different situations when you just see people as people when you just are not worried when you're not tense. If you don't spend time with people, let's say, the opposite sex, then you'll be tense every time you're around them. And it adds to a very awkward conversation. So you want to just be loose and enjoy life, get to know different kinds of people. Any last words, Benjy?
Benjy Uyama
I think one thing I want to just mention because I know that a lot of our listeners are single folks preparing for marriage. And one thing I touched on was, how important to see people as or potential spouses, especially in the context of receiving the blessing, which is an eternal commitment of marriage. See them first as a child of God, son or daughter of God. And I think the natural question people have is, how do you do that? That's a lot easier said than done. And it's something that a lot of people struggle with because, as I said, our first reaction when we meet someone new is to look at certain criteria. And from what I've experienced, the matching candidates in particular who are very good at seeing people as a unique individuals as opposed to other criteria is that they are, first and foremost, able to see themselves as a unique child of God, a unique individual. Meaning, they're able to see their own unique value and the value that they bring to that relationship. For example, in many cases before, there's someone who's short and skinny, not super attractive from societal standards, but they're able to bring a sense of confidence in a persuasion like, I am confidently a child of God. And I bring such and such unique quality to whatever relationship I'm in. I understand, and I have a firm belief in that. That in itself is extremely attractive. And that's how people, even people I've worked with, or honestly, short and skinny and like, I don't know how this is going to work out. But they see themselves first as a child of God. And that really bleeds out into the relationship they're in. And so when they approach someone, they see that confidence, they see that unique characteristic. And they're able to see other people from that perspective, as well. Because I'm a child of God, everyone else is also my brother, my sister, by definition. So I think that's really the key. It's like, how do we really allow God to be in us and see God in us, and see ourselves not just as flesh and blood and bones, but actually as spiritual beings with a maternal unique value? If we can understand that, then it's easier to see how a potential match or spouse can complement and interact with us in marriage.
Andrew Love
That's crazy. Yes. So it's such a cliche. I think we brought it up. But at this point, the value of it is endless. So the idea that what you love becomes beautiful, there's a diamond inside of each of us that grows every time you appreciate it. Like a friend or a spouse, every time you invest in them, they become more beautiful to you. And a lot of the time, we don't see their beauty because we don't have the eyes to see it. That's why if you befriend different types of people that you're not naturally inclined to do so and you can see the beauty in them, you become unstoppable. There's nobody in this world that's unattractive to you because you can see the beauty in everybody. And that makes you just a wonderful asset to this world. And that's what we all need. So it also makes you a powerful spouse.
Andrew Love
So I hope this is helpful. We just know, I know so many awkward kids, like I said, both boys and girls who don't know how to talk to the opposite sex. I think that's a very bad situation for marriage, and definitely parenthood as well. And it just makes you very limited as a human being because you're missing out on the variations that God has put onto this earth. So please try to expand your repertoire of friends. Please try to extend support and love to people that you wouldn't normally do, and see what happens. You'll be surprised. Thank you guys for listening. You're awesome. If you are a woman and you listened to this episode, you're like, what are these guys talking about? They're out of their minds. Call us up, and we'll have a podcast with you. We will ask Carina about her perspective on this. We're going to start including her in more podcasts with us so we can hear from the female perspective. Thank you for listening.
Benjy Uyama
Bye-bye.
Andrew Love
Hello everybody, Andrew Love here, and I just wanted to add one more point. High Noon is a non-profit organization, and we are run by donations. Although we've been doing okay, thanks to the massive generosity of our founders, the Wolfenbergers, we want to expand higher, higher, higher, higher. We want to make a global impact. We want to reach every family, we want to change the culture. And for that to happen, we're going to need a lot of volunteers and a lot of staff. That's just the reality, it takes money to travel, it takes money to do a lot of the things we do. And we want to let you be a part of this growth. And so what we've created is a donor's club, which is a $10 a month club. And when you join, you get a T-shirt mailed to your door, you can get some exclusive content, we also have some really good goodies for our tribe of people who are part of the donor's club that we're going to talk about in the coming months. So I just wanted to invite you to be one of these people. Everybody can afford $10 a month. It's just a matter of whether it's a priority. So if you feel that High Noon has impacted you positively or your family or somebody you know, please consider donating. I don't want you to give any money unless you really, really want to. But if you do want to, I encourage you to really really donate. So $10 a month is I don't know, a cat a month? I don't know how to measure it. It's a giant hamburger and french fries a month that you can sacrifice in order to help this world become a more habitable, more enjoyable, more connected, more loving place. So please consider joining our donor's club, it's just $10 a month. We look forward to seeing you on the inside of our secret society for donors. Have a good day, everybody.