#89 - God and Sexuality Part 2

What does it mean to have God-centered sex? What does it mean to be a single person and trying to build sexual integrity centered on God? How do you invite God into your sexuality, mind, spirit, and your body?

Throughout human history, people have been misusing their sexual organs and learning how that has affected their lives, children, and lineage will give you a better understanding of how God and sexuality connect with each other.

In this episode, Benjy and Andrew delve deep into the cross-section between God and sexuality. This topic is quite confusing but it is a fundamental matter of high importance. Tune in and learn how to start having God-centered sexual integrity whether you’re single or married, to put your sexual energy into good use. 

Focus on fully developing yourself, focusing your energy on just creating something new for yourself, and developing yourself into a new person to experience God with love, and grace. 

High Noon will help you to live the light, become the person you wanted to be, regain your sexual integrity while finding your purpose in life, and have the access to humility through prayer. You might also want to check out High Noon’s Book: Core of the Universe and have a greater understanding of what sex was really designed to be. 

  • The core of the universe book

  • My sexual organ is the original palace of love, life in the lineage

  • Building your sexual integrity

  • A functional relationship with God

  • Difference between using the sexual energy for yourself or using it for productivity and creation

  • Have God at the center of your sexuality

  • An ideal relationship with God

  • Living sexual integrity with five values

  • Putting your integrity in check

  • Having humility through prayer

  • Seeing things from God's perspective

  • Living a healthy sexual relationship

  • Experiencing grace, forgiveness, and love

  • Core of the Universe book

Episode Transcript:

Andrew Love  

Welcome back to Love, Life and Legacy, the podcast dedicated to helping you navigate these hypersexualized times of ours. And in today's episode, Benjy and I delve deep into the cross-section between God and sexuality. What does it mean to have God-centered sex? What does that mean to be a single person and trying to build sexual integrity centered on God. This stuff doesn't make any sense unless you think about it, unless you live it, unless you try it out unless you figure it out. So Sammy and I tackle this issue, but I have another brother now. So we had to tackle this issue again. Because if you don't understand this, this is a core fundamental matter of importance. And if you don't take time to figure it out, you're always going to have this separate life where God is allowed in certain parts of your life. But you lock the door on other rooms of your mind or heart. So if you want the full experience of life into God in every area of your life, especially sexuality. So that's what Benjy and I get into. Hope you love it. See on the inside. 

Welcome back, everybody. 

Benjy Uyama  

Welcome back. 

Andrew Love  

Today, we are going to be discussing two big topics. One, heaven and earth, I guess. We're going to be talking about God and sex. How do you feel about that, Benjy? Nervous? In your little high-heeled boots?

Benjy Uyama  

Yes, such a confusing topic. I'm really excited to delve into it and digest it into bite-sized pieces for us.

Andrew Love  

Yes, and so the reason this came up is because to be honest, it's like an action step or it's a big slide in our presentations. We always have this idea that God should be at the center of your sex, but that's a little bit abstract unless you put some thought into it or make it mean something. So we are going to try to help it mean something, or at least give you some food for thought. So you can make it mean something. Do you remember growing up hearing this and having a feeling about it? 

Benjy Uyama  

Well, I think something we can relate to right now is we just had the core of the universe book, Hoon Dok Hae book all about God's vision for sex based on Father, Mother Moon's words. I was reading that with my wife because we just got it in the mail from Amazon. I want to read this one quote, it's short. "My sexual organ is the original palace of love, life, and lineage, only in this way can it become the palace in which God can reside. Since God is the king of kings, he needs to reside in his original palace. So if you want God to come and dwell within you, you need to become the original palace of love, life, lineage, and conscience." Okay, so that sounds awesome. And I read that, I have no idea if I can be honest, growing up, I have no idea how to personally relate with that. I understand the theoretical or theologically God residing in sex. Not just for married couples or blessed couples, but as an individual, how do I invite God into my sexuality into my mind, my spirit, my body? And when I read that, it sounds great, but I don't know what that means, frankly. So I want to help us figure that out and make it a little more practical here.

Andrew Love  

Yes, okay. I think it'd be a worthy challenge to talk about both singles because there are people who are just trying to build their sexual integrity in preparation for marriage. And then also people who are married, who are blessed, who are in a relationship and how this applies. Because you want to have God-centered sexual integrity as a single person, and then you want to have God-centered sexual activity as a married person. So which one do you want to start with? Let's start with singles. That will be a little bit easier, I think. 

One thing is that, definitely, God is a little bit different for everybody when they think about God or experience God. But I think we could all agree that things like empathy, virtue, are really important things that we care about. Sharing, gratitude, all these things that I think they could be great descriptive words for God. That a relationship with God, it will be filled with gratitude, filled with love, filled with compassion, and all this stuff. So, therefore, your relationship with sex should be infused with those same descriptive words, with the same adjectives. So that's empathy. So that means there's no empathy important because you don't care about the people on the screen. 

When you're leering at a woman, are you thinking about her? Or you're just thinking about her body? It's not about, again, guilt shouldn't be a part of your relationship with God. So guilt also shouldn't be a part of your sexual experience in any degree, in any way, shape, or form. However, you would like to relate with the divine, doesn't have to be what you're always experiencing. But your vision, if you could have a great relationship, a functional relationship with God, that was beneficial to you, then you could probably just substitute the word God with sexuality in many cases. Well, what do you think about that?

Benjy Uyama  

Yes, I agree 100% for single folks. I remember when I was single, back in the day, not that long ago. It was all about, I grew up in the unification movement and heard about sexuality and God, most of my life through Hoon Dok Hae, of course. And didn't really start thinking about it until I was knee-deep in porn and masturbation and not really knowing how to figure it out, especially when I was 12, 13, 14, 15 years old, 16 years old. When I turned 16, it was something that clicked to me that I realized that I have this strong sexual energy that we're all blessed with. The sexual drive that we have that all humans have. And when I hear you talk, Andrew, it's like there's a difference between using that sexual energy for myself or using it for others, using it to better myself, using it for productivity and creation, as opposed to just satisfying myself. It's hard to understand unless you can see the benefit of abstaining from, not just porn, but masturbation, looking lustfully at other men or women at the gym, at the park, or I don't know where you're going. But if you just focus that energy for 40 days or 21 days, and just focus it fully on developing yourself, focusing your energy on just creating something new for yourself, developing yourself into a new person, then you realize that you're missing something. Every time you do act on masturbating, and this is what I asked the guys in my group all the time is, when you masturbate, how do you feel after that? After you masturbate, do you feel on top of the world and ready to take on a new project or go out and change the world? No. It's usually the opposite feeling. It's deflation, it's depression, it's just self-loathing, and it's all about the self in the end. 

The act of masturbating on itself, and the feeling afterward is about the self. There's nothing that's about helping other people or preparing yourself for marriage. So for me, what it means to have God at the center of my sexuality as a single person is, am I able to use my sexual organ for myself, or for others, or for God? Because the reality is all of human history, since the beginning of the fall of Adam and Eve, and obviously, not only that but throughout all history is always been people misusing their sexual organs and how that has affected their lives and your children, the lineage and so forth. So basically, the opposite of that is where God resides. The opposite of selfishly using my sexuality for myself and satisfying myself for the sake of bettering myself, bettering the world, I think that's really where God lies and that's where God's palace is, I guess. So that's what makes more sense to me.

Andrew Love  

Yes, I think a lot of people have so many different feelings towards God or religion or whatever. But if you can imagine stripping away your experience and then formulating a vision for that, like an ideal relationship with God. It's like a source of comfort, a source of connection, a source of wisdom, all these things. God can be that. God can also be something to blame, something to get frustrated with. Where's my life working on? It's like a scapegoat, be whatever you work at making it becoming. So I would just assume the same exact stuff for sexuality too. And so as a single person, you think about what kind of relationship do you want with sex? Do you want it to be something that when it's brought up in school or amongst friends or whatever that you're comfortable with, or that gets really awkward and you feel a ton of weird feelings about? Or do you just want to be beyond and be like, yes, this is what I think, this is where I'm at. 

So many people are so ashamed to admit that they believe in God, the same thing as they are ashamed to admit that they're sexual beings. They're deeply entwined. These two big topics of God and sex. So definitely, as a single person, the whole thing about High Noon is living in the light which is being a bright person who figures out who they want to be and just go all-in on that person, becoming that person. That if other people are shamed, great. That's their issue, but you can just work on being proud. And I did get into a debate. I wrote and pretty heavily edited an article for this. It was like a blog article for another person's website, and it brought up the issue of sexual integrity. This guy started debating in the comment section that saying that is too general because I was just saying basically that sexual integrity is when your sexuality is in line with your values. 

And he was, what if your values are hurting people? And I would say, that's then you have sexual integrity as a horrible person. But it's still sexual integrity because it's congruent with the person that you're choosing to be. But I think that any reasonable person could see like, is my sex sustainable? Is it productive? Is it helping me? Is it helping the people that are involved in this sexual act? If you can answer all these questions in the affirmative? Yes, yes, yes, yes, then you're probably on the right track. And the same with God, because there are some people that can take God and use God to hurt people. There's been plenty of that throughout history where people come in brandishing a Bible and a sword in each hand, respectively. So both God and sex can be used for terror or for world peace. Sex for world peace.

Benjy Uyama  

Yes, I think one thing you mentioned about God being in people's lives that are experiencing High Noon, and what High Noon is, I would say sexual integrity for God as opposed to sexual integrity for something else before itself, or the devil, whatever you want to call it. Because when people experience High Noon living which is honesty, accountability, grace, all these virtues.

Andrew Love  

That's B minus, by the way. There are five of them. There's an order to them, come on.

Benjy Uyama  

Integrity, accountability, grace, honesty, and blessed.

Andrew Love  

Double minus. Courage, man. 

Benjy Uyama  

Courage, yes. That's important. So when you live in sexual integrity in those virtues, then God dwells there. And we've seen that because, at least with the guys that I work with, have been closely working with. When they get their sexual integrity in check and invite God into their lives. As a result of having sexual integrity, they can experience God more fully because they're living a more honest life. That is the entire preface of what High Noon is, is when we let ourselves be seen when we live in the light and breathe in the light High Noon, then we're able to experience grace and love and forgiveness. Because we're just constantly hiding and always thinking that if I let anybody know of this deep, dark secret that I have, that I'm holding on to as a crutch, or a support system, or as a demon, then no one will love me. 

My parents won't love me, my spouse won't love, my wife, husband, my community won't love me. God, of course, won't love me. When you let go of that and realize I need to express this to the right people, the right person because I need it. Not because of some obligation, but because I need it, and because I can live a life that is infinitely more happy and free, then you can experience just the freedom that actually becomes very addictive. I've even heard people say, I cannot live without High Noon now. Once you let yourself be free of the chains and you just are honest, it becomes addictive behavior. And when you do make a mistake or try to hide something that you just can't live with anymore, it's so heavy on your conscience that you just have to let it out. And that's what we've seen as experiencing God. That's where you can experience love and grace, and that's how you can't if you're a single person. Prepare well for the matching blessing and being married. 

This is the work that I've been doing for the last 10 years, essentially helping people get their integrity checked because I'm a firm believer that that's one of the most important things to do to be ready for a relationship. Because if you can get your integrity in check, then there are a lot of boxes checked for you as a person. It means you have integrity, it means you have character, it means you have focus, it means you have a vision, it means you can be in a relationship, it means you have control over your sexual energy. It means all these things. And it's not the only thing that makes you get ready for a relationship, but without this, it becomes very difficult to have empathy, have compassion, to have all the qualities needed to have a successful marriage. 

So when people do go through a relationship, get engaged, get matched, and bless, inevitably, they always I mean, we always encourage people to have these conversations about your sexual integrity, how are you doing. And have them early on in the relationship, so you can have these honest conversations. The couples that are doing really well and being honest, people like Robert and Carina, and people that we've had on this podcast, most people would dread having that conversation in a matching process or engagement process. Having conversation and letting them know their deep, dark secrets and things they've done in the past, which is very uncommon in state-society, is to talk about those sides of things. But letting them know that has affected me. It's behind me. I want to be honest and open, and let's move on in this relationship together. Those couples that do that have open communication are the ones that really succeed in their marriage.

Andrew Love  

Yes, and I guess that's part of it too. When you have a conversation, I guess now we're getting into couples. We're segueing. This is the official segue into couples. Because when you think about talking with somebody like I've had this. If you're having an argument with somebody, it's very easy just to see from your own perspective and to feel your own feelings, and that usually puts you in a situation where you're just judging the other person for not being more like you. You're like, why do you suck because you're not like me more. You should be more like me, come more this way. And then the other person is doing the exact same thing typically. It's a standoff. It's like a High Noon Showdown. So what do you need in that situation? To have God, a deep relationship with God, and to be able to see more from their perspective, because you have access to humility through prayer. 

Firstly, I'm stuck judging you and not liking you right now. But I'm going to go to my happy place. I'm going to go deep into prayer and get past my own stuff, my own garbage, and move it out of the way so I can love you more. That's a very practical way that God has saved my marriage time and again, is that there's this lubricant in our marriage, and keep your mind out of the gutter people. The oil in this vehicle is God and helps everything flow because we've definitely reached our limitations on multiple occasions on how much we can love each other based on what's in our hearts.

So we have to access, we have to plug into the source of love itself, which is God, right? So there's a practical way to play God is to have a place to go. A safe place when you're fighting with your spouse to find a new perspective and new emotions, healthy emotions, positive emotions when you're out of them. And that's, I think, transferable to sexuality as well because in my groups, I have two young dads groups, and I whipped out this conversation this week. I was asking them, do you guys talk about sex with your wife? And I was surprised that basically, hardly any of them do. Because there's a lot of fear of rejection and all this stuff. I was like, guys, think about that. You don't talk about this hugely important issue with your wife? Practice. 

And so when they bring this up, this topic of sex with their wives, all these guys are going to experience a wide range of emotions. They're going to experience excitement when things are going good in the conversation like, well you said what? When you find some sort of agreement, they'll also feel extreme frustration. If they feel rejected, or just despondent or depressed or whatever. So the only way to navigate that is really to imagine first before you have these deep conversations you pray. And then afterward, you also pray. Yes, a prayer to this. So that's like your hearts are deeply involved because when we're fighting from intellect, our hearts close. But when you discuss with your hearts, then you can go deep, you can have some great conversations. But prayer really comes in handy for that kind of stuff.

Benjy Uyama  

What kind of conversations are they having? Or are they not having sex?

Andrew Love  

So one guy says, how do you let your wife know if you're ready for sex? He's like, he just did this funny character where he's hobbling over to her, and I let it be known. And then he said, if she rejects him then he just feels he keeps it inside, and then later if he's being very spiky like a hedgehog when he's going inside himself and he's not talking, he's not engaging, and she's like, is there something going on? Are you okay? And he's like, I'm fine. They don't talk about it. I was like, you should talk about it. Talk about the good. Talk about the bad. Hey, I'm feeling this, how are you feeling? That's a great conversation to have. I think I'm ready for sex, are you? And if they're not, the thing is the expectation is I say, have the conversation without the expectation, and there'll be a good conversation. If you have a conversation where you expect an outcome, then you're probably just going to end badly. 

Even if you get what you want, you're just projecting yourself onto somebody else. But I'm just saying for the sake of bringing God into the equation, it's like, how do you have these conversations that are difficult to navigate with softness, because it's not just you, you feel connected to that person through this invisible force of spirituality. We're in the kind of society where you have to keep on refocusing. Oh yes, I'm a spiritual being. Because the movies we watched don't reinforce that, the music we listened to doesn't reinforce that, so we have to consciously like, Oh yes, God exists. And you have to remind yourself what that means to you. 

Benjy Uyama  

Yes.

Andrew Love

So if you just have a conversation based on your opinion and their opinion, then it's very easy to get into a fight. But if you bring in a third party's opinion, which is God's opinion, that both of you are amazing people, then it changes the dynamic. It's not that I want this, oh, you want that? Well, you're wrong. and I'm right, or whatever. It's like, what's the larger perspective here?

Benjy Uyama

Yes, there seems to be a shortcut to bringing the third party of God that we've seen doing some Hoon Dok Hae. Honestly, that's probably the main reason that I do Hoon Dok Kae ever with my wife is because we...

Andrew Love  

Get some action?

Benjy Uyama  

Well, yes, that too. But honestly, as people, we need a third-party perspective. We need a bigger perspective because if we don't, then it's always just in us inside our heads, or inside our couple. That's why I go to church is because I need to have some perspective. I need to get out of my head and out of just a couple and actually see things from God's perspective or a different perspective, a bigger perspective, and meet people and talk to people. Hoon Dok Hae is an excellent way to do that because it takes you outside of your world for just a second, or just a few minutes to see things that you might not see before. So anyway, if there's a reason to get the book of the universe that would be it.

Andrew Love  

I got to say that this past week, I've really fallen in love with the word perspective. I started to do some research on it, and essentially, your whole life, your experience of life is guided by your perspective. It's insane. I just had this conversation right before this podcast with my son. We just had lunch. He's like, I don't like this food. I was like, that's just your perspective. When I was a kid, I didn't like olives and now I do. Nothing changed in my mouth other than my perspective of what odds are, and it was like graduation where I didn't go from hating them to loving them. I gave them a shot, and they kept on warming up until I liked them. So give it a try because your perspective is pretty crappy about this food that was just made for you unless I find it delicious. It's insane how much we assume is fact black and white, when it's actually perspective. And that third party perspective is like a refresher so that it gives you a chance to formulate something slightly different, to maneuver your perspective, to be a little bit more advantageous for both parties.

Benjy Uyama  

I want to share about God in my blessing if it's helpful for couples. When I got blessed, 10 years, 11 years ago now, that was the single most important thing to me at that time is, I wanted to be someone that could love my wife as God loves her. See her from God's perspective. I don't know if that's the cheesiest thing to say, but that really has helped me. If there's anything that's really helped us get through the lows like you were saying, Andrew, is that I have been able to, at the end of the day after a long day of fighting, arguing, or long periods of just being at each other's throats. If I can just take a step back and realize that this is a child of God, more importantly, I am able to have some compassion for her. And I say this all the time to husbands that compassion leads to passion. 

Andrew Love  

Does that mean action?

Benjy Uyama  

Yes. Women, especially, I mean generally speaking. Of course, across the board, everyone needs compassion, but women crave just understanding and compassion. And as a brother that I love a lot, he said to me that I'm just going to say it because it might help some of the couples here. He said that what a man wants more than anything is for the wife to just be happy. Alright, that's true for me. I just want my wife to be happy. But what a woman wants more than anything is not to be happy, is to be understood. So that's maybe generalized, but I think it might be really helpful. It is for me because it puts the focus away from, how can I just make my wife grateful all the time? Can you just be grateful? I'll do everything, just be grateful. She doesn't want my wife and at least, in particular, she doesn't want to be happy all the time. She just wants to be understood. And it's through being understood and having compassion with her that she does experience happiness and yet. 

So my focus changes from, how can I just feel her life with more compassion, understanding, and listening, and all that good stuff? And just try to feel her through empathy, then she experiences happiness, then she experiences passion. It just works. It just works. And for me, that is God, that is God's heart. When we make mistakes, when my wife makes mistakes, when I make mistakes, and we know we're not perfect. I know she's not perfect. She has some limitations. I know I definitely have my limitations, but to realize that we're children of God, we're growing, and we're growing in love, and every single day, we are expanding our capacity to love each other. At the end of the day, we're loving each other a little more than we did yesterday, then that is becoming like God, essentially. That is becoming the female and the male aspects of God's heart. 

For me, what that means is bringing God into our sex life is not just us experiencing incredible Godsend sexiness, just heaven and earth-shaking all the time. No, it's not just about me and my wife at all ever. It's always about how we can grow as a couple through our sexual relationships? And how can we grow to the point where we can be loving to other people? Or we can expand our love so that we're more loving to our children, to people around us, not in a sexual way, of course. But just as a more loving person because anyone who's been married for more than a year knows, especially more than a year, that's the honeymoon phase, knows that to be in a healthy sexual relationship, you have to be selfless. You have to live for the sake of your spouse, because as soon as that honeymoon phase is over and you're just having sex all the time every day, which is very common for couples within their first year. After that phase ends, you have to start putting your spouse before your own. 

Men and women are wired biochemically differently, hormonally differently, to require sexual intimacy in a different way. We hear the analogies all the time that men are like microwaves, and women are like slow cookers or like crock pots, it takes time. Why is it that God plays this incredibly? This trick on us, that the single thing that we desire most in the world are in some ways, not very compatible? It's so that we can learn how to be selfless. And for me, that is what brings God into my relationship. I'm preaching to the choir now. Andrew, I'm not talking to our audience here. That is what God instills in us. That's how we experience God in our sexual relationships. To me, it is when I can use my sexual organs, my sexual energy, my integrity selflessly and not selfishly. Selflessly for the sake of my spouse, and stop focusing on what I can get. Now, I can be satisfied, which is a challenge. But first and foremost, think about what she needs and what she desires. At the end of the day, not thinking about if I do this, then I'll get this. 

That is a huge turnoff for women, well for anyone. If I do this, then I'll get this. If I treat her this way or hold her this way or do this or that, then I'll get this. It's no, I'm doing this for you because I love you, because I love you, because it's what you need and desire. To me, that's where God resides. And that is so different from anything we see online, Hollywood, the internet, the Instagram. The standard of what beauty and sexuality is first and foremost, I'm doing this, it's my body, it's me, then no. That is not how you experience God, that is not how God comes and dwells in God's Palace in your relationship. It is through that selflessness, that giving your sexual energy and focusing on your spouse. If I masturbate and watch porn today, this morning, I will not have any sexual energy left at the end of the day. That is by definition selfish, right?

Andrew Love  

Yes. 

Benjy Uyama  

If I'm masturbating to watch porn every day as a husband, I will have zero energy, sexual energy left to give to my spouse at all. How can that not be labeled as self-centered? There's nothing left for my wife, not even a desire at all to pleasure her at all. 

Andrew Love  

I like that because what you're talking about is when you behave as you understand God's behavior to be these virtuous ways, the selflessness, the giving, the all this stuff then you produce the feeling of closeness with God during whatever subsequent action is. So if the byproduct is sexuality, when you get to that sexual act as a couple by being selfless and loving and caring towards each other, then the byproduct is closest to each other and intimacy and also an intimacy with God, which is very practical. And also when you're talking about fighting before bringing up this basic formula, which is thoughts produce feelings, feelings produce behavior, and there's more to that equation but I'll just leave it to for simplicity's sake. But when you have thoughts and negative thoughts because you're fighting, then it produces these negative emotions, and it creates this screw-you behavior.

So I have this habit of even when we're fighting, even when we're not fighting just as often as possible, a part of my evening ritual especially is envisioning my wife and me feeling good with each other. And thinking about it and then feeling it and then it changes my behavior. During the difficult times, it's especially helpful because you get stuck in these loops and thinking about all the things that they did wrong, and it's producing these negative feelings that make you just feel stuck in a relationship with somebody you don't like. And then that's the loop that plays out and influences your behavior. It's very clear and practical. Whereas you can interrupt that pattern by thinking about some new stuff, and why I bring this up is because when you think about what her parents do, if she has a healthy relationship. I mean, say for me, my wife's dad passed away when she was 16, and by all accounts, he was the most amazing, generous, warm, loving man, which is not typical for Mongolians of that era. He was just a very uniquely loving, open-minded person. So I always go back to, what does he think of my behavior right now? What does he think of his daughter? And how would I speak to him? And that helps me to formulate a new perspective. Because if I'm thinking really negatively, or if I'm getting lost in some sort of fantasy of somebody else, I'm like, what does that do think about me right now? And then that helps me to adjust and align with that and that produces new feelings, and that produces new behavior. 

So yes, this behavior and belief are linked. Behavior and belief are linked, so even if you have an abstract notion of God if you can identify the virtues that you think are godly, that God's probably not a cycle murdering maniac. That's one extreme, then what is God? God is meant to be benevolent, all-loving. But the Christian God is expressed as God the Agape God, which is just like we have shinjang, like the unquenchable desire to give love. I just want to give you love. So if you start to produce a shortlist of behaviors that you think, this benevolent God, how God would act, and you start trying to live up to those and do those behaviors, then you're going to produce the feeling of Godliness.

So that's a part of your sex, and that's single or as a couple. If you're a single person, it's not very benevolent to creep on other people having sex. I feel that that doesn't ring true to benevolence, like generously giving. It's very taking-oriented action and watching porn, masturbating as well. So anyway, I think we did some good exploration here. It's a lofty topic, guys. But I think my understand I'd love for you, Benjy to break it down in your own words, and I'll try to do it in mine like what I understand is the main takeaway for this is God and sex as a single person or as a couple, it's behavioral, it's not just this abstract thing like I think I feel God while I watch porn. No. It's like a behavioral thing. So if God has virtues or values, what are those? And then try to live up to those, and by doing the behaviors that you believe God would be doing through you, then you'll produce the feeling of closeness with God. So that's for both couples and singles. What about you?

Benjy Uyama  

I would say that God is love, and therefore, to feel love, you need to be seen for who you are. You need to experience grace.

Andrew Love  

And what does that mean? I always get confused with people like, I just want to be seen. What does that mean? Sammy says that a lot, I'm like, I don't know what you're saying.

Benjy Uyama  

You put it that way, but it means, be honest about who you are. It means watching all the videos and podcasts and joining your group. It means consuming all the High Noon content that you can, and just telling somebody, we all have something that we know that we need to get off our chest. It's not just one thing usually, or it's not just the set of things, but it's a practice, it's a muscle of being seen for who we are, and letting people into our lives. And letting our guard down, because reality is that it's not that God is some distant figure entity that is just on a throne and waiting for us. No, understand if God is that God is a parent that is trying to connect with us, and we have dug ourselves into a hole throughout history. We are the ones who have been turning away from God farther and farther away, and we need to be able to come out of that hole into the light, it's going to be vulnerable. When we're vulnerable and honest, and realize that we're not perfect and let ourselves be seen by a parent, by a mentor, by your group, by God, then we can experience grace and forgiveness and love. And I think that is really the first step and the only way to actually experience God in our lives. Not just in a sexual way, but sexuality by definition, especially, pornography is one of the most secretive things that we carry with us, and that's a good place to start.

Andrew Love   

I like it. I like it a lot. 

Benjy Uyama  

I like it a lot. 

Andrew Love  

So I hope this was helpful, guys. I think, again, the reason why we bring this up is because we advocate for it. But I think it's something that is so abstract, or it's like, yes I get it at a distance but up close day today, when it's between doing certain activities or not? Sometimes it's hard to put where's God in all of this? Where does God fit into all of this and so, to not leave God in the abstract, but allow the experience of God to be in your behaviors will help you produce the result of feeling close to God. Behaviors too, so to live up to your understanding of how I don't like that term of God wants you to be like this because that's very kind of expectation laden and guilt-driven. It's more of if God could inhabit your body and live as God would want to live, how would God act through your body? That's to live optimally as God would want to. I think that's a much healthier perspective, and so we hope this brought you closer to a deeper understanding of how God and sex mix. And if you want any more information, like some great Hoon Dok Hae book, where can they find a Hoon Dok Hae book that's all about this stuff, Benjy?

Benjy Uyama  

Core Of The Universe. We have a handy little website called highnoon.org/core, you get your book right now from Amazon, from anywhere in the world, basically.

Andrew Love  

Wow. Yes, I know people in Europe got their copies lickety-split. Some guy in Switzerland got his and he was shocked at how fast he got it. 

Benjy Uyama  

Nice. 

Andrew Love  

So awesome. Thank you so much, Benjy. Thank you everybody for listening. Get that Core Of The Universe is great. Remember this, that book is not a book to be read. It's a book to experience and you're meant to experience conversation with other people. So try to read it, if you're married with your partner, if you have kids together as a family, or if you're single together with a group of, I would say, same-gender individuals, otherwise it might get really awkward really quickly. And go deep into this stuff so you can have a greater understanding of what sex was really designed to be because if you don't use something as designed, you're never going to get the benefits, the full benefits of it. So enjoy, find that on our website, go on Amazon. If you go on Amazon and type in the best book in the world, and probably pop up. 

Benjy Uyama  

Nice. 

Andrew Love  

Probably not, not yet. Give us a few years to catch up with that algorithm. But we love you guys, we thank you so much as always. Ask us any questions, and if you have any requests for episodes, we are happy to oblige. God bless your faces and your arms and all the rest.

Benjy Uyama  

Genitals.

Andrew Love  

Everything. God bless you.

Benjy Uyama  

Take care.

Andrew Love  

Hello everybody, Andrew Love here, and I just wanted to add one more point. High Noon is a non-profit organization, and we are run by donations. Although we've been doing okay, thanks to the massive generosity of our founders, the Wolfenbergers, we want to expand higher, higher, higher, higher. We want to make a global impact. We want to reach every family, we want to change the culture. And for that to happen, we're going to need a lot of volunteers and a lot of staff. That's just the reality, it takes money to travel, it takes money to do a lot of the things we do. And we want to let you be a part of this growth. And so what we've created is a donor's club, which is a $10 a month club. And when you join, you get a T-shirt mailed to your door, you can get some exclusive content, we also have some really good goodies for our tribe of people who are part of the donor's club that we're going to talk about in the coming months. So I just wanted to invite you to be one of these people. Everybody can afford $10 a month. It's just a matter of whether it's a priority. So if you feel that High Noon has impacted you positively or your family or somebody you know, please consider donating. I don't want you to give any money unless you really, really want to. But if you do want to, I encourage you to really really donate. So $10 a month is I don't know, a cat a month? I don't know how to measure it. It's a giant hamburger and french fries a month that you can sacrifice in order to help this world become a more habitable, more enjoyable, more connected, more loving place. So please consider joining our donor's club, it's just $10 a month. We look forward to seeing you on the inside of our secret society for donors. Have a good day, everybody.

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#88 - Men vs Women: A Discussion About Dealing With the Opposite Sex